Dismantle. Repair.

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
It's only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I have got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh, things are going to change now for the better
And oh, things are going to change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me


... Ill be damned if I haven't heard a better song in years. Justin and Kristin, seriously... thank you for introducing me to Anberlin. I'm obsessed.

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die..."

"... it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive." The Tide, The Spill Canvas

I can't write anymore. It sucks. Oh, I've been researching a bit of a book, maybe... it started pretty heavy, at least the research did, but... work, life, everything else got in the way, and I lost my spark.

Seems like I am losing my spark more and more these days. I'm not saying that as some drastic or depressed statement. I'm actually rather apathetic about it, and that probably bothers me more than anything about it.

But it's there... like a seed. Just needs water. The right kind of water.

So, it's a dry spell, another drout for the soul and the heart, but at least not a bad bad one. It's just done writing the same old story.

So, then... I need a new story. Not just for now, but for good. Words that matter, breaths that matter, touch that matters. As with everything, patience must rule... but I have been patient, and I really want to write again. I really want to feel again, to water the seed.

Off to find an ocean and a dusky evening, a dream, a watering can...