Some Die Just To Live

The existential journey continues, just like it should. Today, there's been some interesting thoughts swirling in my mind... about relationships, music, and cigarettes.

I am addicted to the promise of what could be. Say that again - the promise of what could be. It's a rediculous idea, almost, but it is so pure, so simple, and so very real, at the same time.

For instance: Jeff Buckley. I mean, really, does any more need to be said? Jeff Buckley. A pure shot of genius, gone before it was fully realized and developed, gone before we could fully appreciate it. Of course... we would've grown bored, maybe even angry with it, maybe tried to destroy it. Isn't that the American way? (Is produces isn't?)

For me, many things are like Jeff Buckley. I am addicted to the promise of what could be. I don't see it as a bad thing, but it can sometimes be a sad thing. I have high expectations, for myself, and sometimes for others.

But mostly, like anyone else, I want to do something meaningful, want to be remembered.

I think Reznor said it best: "I want to fuck everyone in the world, I want to do something that matters."

Sure, that's a little extreme, but damn, the sentiment hits home, very hard.

I just hope that I am never left as the promise of what could be. As I said... I am. Hopefully, what I am is good, becoming great. Fully Realized. And destined for destruction at the hands of American Culture.