Taking Back Control, pt. 2

So, here's what you're getting... 95% totally, brutally honest (some secrets you just don't tell, lol):

Name: Dustin C.
Age: 28
Residence: Self-owned Home in Plainfield, IN
Occupation: Ecommerce Manager
Vehicle: 2005 Jeep Liberty Sport
Debt: between 5k and 10k
Salary: between 25k and 35k
Height: 5'5", sometimes 5'3" and sometimes maybe slightly taller
Weight: Anywhere between 175 and 195 lbs., depending on the season and how active I've been. Right now, I'm getting svelt.
Hair: Brown, fading, receeding hairline, short
Eyes: Blue, usually with black horn-rim glasses

Likes: music, playing music, writing, reading. Too much music to list. Playing guitar. Singing. A little bit of travelling. Brown County Indiana. Sex. Adventurous sex. Spending money on music. Good dining. Cooking. Fishing. Hiking. Indiana University Basketball. Watching IU hoops. Watching hoops in general. Shooting hoops. Other sports. Geek stuff. WoW on occasion. D&D on much less frequent occasion. Battletech on less frequent occasion. Firefly and Serenity. Spaced. CSI - the original. Zombie movies. Musical Rom-Coms. Collecting music. Long, uninterrupted drives. Being philosophical. Late night chats. Beer. Whiskey. An occasional cigarette. Light to medium to heavy exercise, usually three to five times a week. Open-mindedness. Exploring religious thoughts. Big questions. Barack Obama.

Dislikes: traffic, driving, driving in traffic. Tense confrontations. Anger issues. Crazy women. Bad sex. Hard drugs. Slobs. Lazy people. Sloth-like people. Hateful people. People who can't drive. People in general. Bitchy people. Judgemental people. John McCain.

Things I think I think:

My parents are the most amazing, smartest, kindest, hard-working and loving people I know. They are still together.

My parents set an impossible to reach goal and standard for my relationships.

Hard work really can and does pay off.

I like music. I am not on drugs.

Sex is an awesome, intimate experience.

Sex is only as good as the least-experienced/least-knowledgable person involved in the act. Thankfully, open-minded persons can learn.

God exists. I just don't know much more about him than that.

God is love. I used to think this. I am not so sure anymore.

I have slept with too many people. Only a few of those people really touched my heart. I feel incredibly guilty about this. Other times I just feel horny.

Guilt is my closest internal friend, next to hope. Hope wins out. But they battle a lot.

I am a nice, sensitive guy. Get over it.

I am not obsessed, clingy, or desparate. Please, you don't be, either.

I love starry night skies and the ocean. I am not gay.

I love to write, and should more.

I am too uptight, and will probably die of a heart attack before I am 4o. I am working on extending that lifespan, by exercising, eating healthier, and trying to chill the fuck out.

I like things simple.

Nothing is simple anymore.

I am old-fashioned in many ways. And modern in others.

Technology is killing us all slowly, in many, many ways.

Back porch music is best.

Back porch friends are best.

I have a lot of what I would call back porch friends. At least 3.

I have remained unmarried while most of my friends, and exes, from college have been married, been divorced, had kids, and/or any combination of those three.

Yes, I do get lonely. If that sounds pathetic to you, piss off. You get lonely too, so stop acting like you are better than everyone, or, you know, better than me.

"Hard To Imagine" is the best Pearl Jam song, at least in my heart.

I believe in the human soul.

I am afraid my dad and mom will both be dead before I either marry or have children. I have way too much guilt over this.

I have been far too lucky in every aspect of my life... except relationships with the opposite sex.

I have still had some very blessed and rewarding relationships with the opposite sex.

I do wonder if it is me.

Most of the time I am convinced it is them.

I have done some bad things that I know I shouldn't have. But I am still here. There have been mistakes, but nothing can be done about those. Each day I am born anew, and can forgive what I can't forget.

I like athletic girls. I like small breasts. I like flat tummies. None of that matters in my heart, just in my pants, and then, it's kind of just icing on the cake.

I am attracted, physically, to a lot of different "types" of women.

I am convinced I will settle for someone I am not emotionally or physically attracted to.

I fight the urge to settle.

I hate the urge to settle.

Time is running out. To settle or not.

I can play a mean guitar, man.

I like to think I am a lover. I fight off my guilt and self-doubt to achieve that. For my adult life, since I graduated college, I have become better and better at that.

I would say I am a good, honest, loving person.

I have a lot to offer someone, in almost every aspect of life.

I am complete by myself. I only hope for a shared life experience with someone else that is as wonderful and deserving as... well, me.

Despite that, chemistry, emotion, and attraction all play a part.

I am not crazy. I am normal.

It sometimes takes a lot to admit internally that I am not alone in this. I think most people are crazy.

I do think humanity is broken.

I think we live in a golden age of brokeness, sin, and selfishness.

I am very selfish.

I try my hardest to not be selfish. I hope that it'll catch on.

I love everyone, inside. I just wish some people would be nicer to me. And that some people wouldn't drive in front of me.